A Candid Moment

HAPPY 2008 (8 days too late)!!!!

I always get really excited for the coming of January 1^st. There is just something so magical about “NEW” that gives us hope that we truly can start all over again. As January 1^st rings in a new year, so does it also ring in the chance for a new beginning, and I can tell you this year more than any other year before…I need a new beginning.

I hurt people last year; people that have meant more to me than I ever thought possible. I lied to people that mattered in order to carry through with my own selfish intentions. I do realize that's a pretty bold statement to put out to a web full of strangers. But I can’t always put on a happy face, and I can’t pretend to be a perfect human being. I’m flawed. And until I can accept that, I’ll never fully be true to myself. Consider my candid statement, my acceptance.

I’ll forever regret how I treated people in 2007…I’ll forever hate who I was in 2007. If I could do it all over again I’d do many things different, but unfortunately that’s not possible and so I can only hope that my mistakes will carry me forward, and I’ll learn from them.

I can take this new moment, this new day, this New Year and fix me…make me a better person. I can look back at my mistakes and work strongly to not make them again. I can make resolutions and for once make them happen. I can make 2008 a much better year than 2007 and for that I am grateful for the New Year and a new opportunity.

And so, for the first time in many years, I have actually compiled a list of resolutions that I have put onto a piece of paper, and will carry with me every day so that I never lose focus of what I am going to accomplish. That list is as follows:

Write in my blog more often

Spend wisely

SAVE

Utilize my gym membership at least three times a week

Get back into yoga

Eat more fresh foods

Be less selfish

Be more assertive

Enjoy my life now! Don’t dwell on the past, and quit worrying about the future.

Seize opportunities

Take more chances

Do more things that scare the hell out of me

Be honest

Be done with self pity

Accept weaknesses, but build on strengths

Let more people in

I’m sure it’ll be a running list, and I’m sure I’ll fail miserably at some of them, but I hope that in 357 days, I’ll look back at the year and think: “I did good this year”. Here’s hoping for a better 2008.

Nostalgia with a Tinge of Jealousy

You know what’s a weird feeling? Finding out your high school sweetheart is engaged…to someone else. No matter how moved on I am, and how distant our lives have become, I have to admit that a piece of my heart sank when I heard the news.

It’s weird to think that could have been me. In fact, it was supposed to be me…seven years ago. But things are very different now, and although I know I wasn’t supposed to be that girl, it still hurts a little to think that I’m not.

I do wish them all the happiness in the world though. And although I love my life, and where I am right now, I think I’m going to be a little sad for the rest of the day.

I think that’s okay.

On Hiatus

I am entirely too sad at the moment

Please don't be mad if I don't blog for a little while.

The End

Shout Out Number 4

I realize that I normally do my “shout outs” on Friday, but in wake of this weekend’s festivities, I won’t be around tomorrow to blog about anything, and this particular shout out is much too important to go un-noticed. In fact, it’s so important, that it merits its own entire entry.

So, for this week, I’d like to send a single, simple, one-and only shout out.

TO ERIN AND DAVE’S WEDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For a year and a half we have been planning, and emailing, and partying, and shopping, and chatting all things wedding…just waiting for this day to arrive. And now, in just two short days my best friend on the planet will be walking down the isle to say “I Do” to the man of her dreams. It sure makes you all ooey and gooey inside over love doesn’t it?

The wedding festivities kick off tomorrow with a girly day of lunch and manis/pedis then rehearsal, dinner and then Saturday we awake to October 28….the wedding.

I can’t wait. I’m just beaming from the inside out.

I’ll be back on Monday everyone (with tons of pictures I’m sure).

*cheers to love*

Congratulations Jessica and Scott

Last Saturday, July 22, I laid witness to the beautiful exchanging of vows between Jessica McKeen and Scott Bailey. It was a beautiful ceremony, my first time at an outside wedding, and it was a wonderful and intimate experience.

Some of my favorite parts of their wedding:

The gorgeous ceremony site!
Gary's beautiful flower arrangements
Watching Jessica walk up the stairs and standing at the foot of the isle with her dad
Seeing Scott cry as he watches Jessica walk the isle
Lets face it...my dress.
The wind in the hair of the bridesmaids standing at the front of the pavillion

SUPER strong Bacardi/Cranberries at Crossroads bar in Elkhorn

The full mugs of beer in the wedding party's hands as they exited their massive limo
Crawling under Jessica's dress to help her with the bustle
The cookie favors on our tables
Tippy Cup and drinking games during the reception

Falling over while taking a picture with Jess
Watching my dad get hit on
Dancing the night away

Taco Bell

Just some weekend stuff

I am making it known to the entire blogging community, that on Friday of last week, I went on an interview with the Kohl’s corporation and, as I cross my fingers, it went really well. Of course there is the chance that I’m delusional in my thinking, and the interview went horribly, in which case I just admitted failure to many, many people, but I’m optimistic for the time being. I originally interviewed for a Sample Specialist position which is an entry level position feeding into the entire company. But as the interview process continued, I was introduced to even more people, in a few more departments, for a few more open positions in the company. At the end of all of it, I was taken to the buying offices and introduced to a few people there as well. The recruiter is also in the process of passing over my resume directly to them. At the end of three hours I had met with 5 different people, and interviewed for three different positions. Hopefully SOMETHING will turn up =)

I was so thrilled with how well the interview went that I was definitely in the mood for some celebrating. Tara and I thus, met up with Katie and Mary for some drinks at The Harp and headed over to Out and About a little later for some drinking and dancing with some more friends. I’m not a big bar fly, but I definitely enjoy the occasional drunk night out =)

I awoke on Saturday with a bit of a hangover, but had to quickly nurse it away as I had to work all day Saturday. The day went by quickly, thankfully, and at 6:00 Erin, Dave, and Tara showed up at my parent’s apartment, ready to head to Heather and Eric’s. They were having a small get together of close friends, celebrating their new house…and of course their new life together. Their house is ADORABLE: two bedrooms, one bath, cute little backyard, and a cute little dog to compliment it. They’re your typical storybook couple: high school sweethearts get married right out of college, buy a cute little house and a dog =) I love them. We spent the night playing games and chatting around the fire pit.

Sunday I spent lazing around trying to get my stomach into some sort of normal routine again. Feeling full I decided to jump on the scale to see how “full” I actually was and I realized that for the past month I have been consistently gaining weight. For the first time in my entire life I am above 124. While I by no means need to go on a diet, I think this was my first indication that I should probably start watching what I eat a little bit better. My metabolism seems to be slowing a bit more. I think it’s time to incorporate some fruit into this diet of mine =)

Memorial Day Weekend '06

Beneath the sunburn, behind the exhaustion and the full belly that remains from a weekend full of eating, lies a three day Memorial Weekend packed with memories. It was a weekend filled with great friends, great food, and plenty of sunshine to top an already amazingly good time.

The weekend kicked off on Friday as I hurried home from work to meet up with Tara, her roomate Dobry (Jeni) and Ashley for a night of grilled food and beer. We (read: them) cooked up hamburgers, hot dogs, steaks, corn on the cobb and some baked beans and hurried upstairs to enjoy a fresh grilled meal.

Fast forward a half hour.

With full bellies we assessed the beer situation and decided we had plenty to keep us going all night. Thus, with beers in hand we busted out the board games...my favorite part of friendly get togethers. We started off with Yahtzee, as Ashley insisted she wasn't drunk enough yet for a game of Cranium and she proceeded to kick our asses in the coming rolls of the dice. Saddened at my defeat, I pulled out Cranium, ready for a game I KNEW I could win.

Drunken Cranium is probably on my list of top 5 things to do at a get together. I never laugh harder than I do while watching someone try to draw "Rock, Paper, Scissors" without looking at the paper, while their partner continuously yells "Square, Apple, Scissors", all the while thinking her guess is perfectly accurate given the picture being drawn. We never ended up finishing the game, but Tara and I were way ahead by the time we called it quits to play Circle of Death (more commonly called in B-Town, Kings Cup) =) We again failed to finish the game as Dobry left to vomit and Ashley and I engaged in an argument about whether feemer and leaner rhymed (which I must digress and admit I was wrong). It was then, we decided to call it a night.

I awoke early Saturday for work, which ended up being slower than usual, making it for a touch day to sit and stare, and wish you weren't hung over. At least I had the evening to look forward to, as Katie and I made plans for a late night out at our favorite B-Town bar: John's Main Event.

We arrived at 11:00 to a semi-crowded bar, but still managed to secure ourselves a seat at the bar, and a few rounds of shots courtesy of our favorite bartender. Seeing as how our money was obviously no good there, we decided to plug the juke-box with dollars and fill the bar with the sounds of Katie/Christi music. Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar On me" always gets me into the partying mood, so we opted for a few more shots, a few more drinks, and plenty of friendly run ins with old friends. But alas, at 2:00 a fight had broken out, dampening the mood of the night so we left the bar, destined for some late night eats at White Fox Den. Bed time didn't come until around 5:00 and I dragged myself out of bed three hours later to get to work.

I spent two hours at the salon on Sunday then quickly closed up and drove home to meet Tara at my apartment. I threw on a tank top, grabbed my flip-flops, and we were out the door, ready for a day by the lake.

We strolled to Altera, wandered through the Kite Festival and spent a lot of time lounging around on picnic tables, talking and people watching. It was the perfect way to spend a 90 degree day in Milwaukee. As dusk fell, we opted for an easy night in, rented a few movies, and by 9:30 I was sleeping on the couch.

Finally, memorial day came and the sun was shining as beautifully as it had the day before. I jumped out of bed, threw my swimsuit on, and we headed, with the Cabby's drop top down, to the beach to spend a few hours lounging in the sun. A few hours quickly turned into a half hour and we realized we had less time to spend there than we had originally hoped. It was a wonderful half hour though.

Tara and I reloaded up the Cabby and drove to the Metro Market to pick up BBQ essentials for our cookout with Erin and Dave. We loaded up on fresh fruit, buns, and of course Metro Market's famous free samples! The Metro Market rocks!

We arrived at Erin and Dave's exactly on time and we chatted for a while (us girls) while Dave manned the gril. Ah yes, the fine display of gender roles =) KIDDING! After dinner we played a few games, Dave kicked our asses in Trivial Pursuit, and so we moved to Taboo where Erin and I dominated the round.

And with that, my weekend ended and I sit her now recapping it and nursing my sunburnt shoulders. As the last weekend in May bring about the first week in June, it also brought with a hint of summer that still remains in the memories of the weekend. But as a cool air blows from the open door in front of me, and the signs of rain linger in the air, I am reminded that this summer is indeed still around the corner. I just can't wait for it to fully arrive!

Heather and Eric's Wedding

I work in the bridal industry and for a living, I immerse myself in weddings. Between the gowns, and the cakes, and the bridezillas and the momzillas and the bridesmaids...it’s a never ending process. Day after day the girls come in and day after day the girls leave each with their own unique story and each with their own unique set of demands. It can be tedious, god knows this industry is not all butterflies and sunshine as one would think, and it leaves me bitter many days towards the entire concept. As I lock up the doors night after night I find myself breathing a sigh of relief as I finished out another day without strangling one of the over demanding mothers that came into the store. It leaves me wondering if I’m just a bitter girl with no real romance left.

But then suddenly, you’re at a wedding. Not helping a bride choose her dress, not dealing with the bridesmaids size issues, but instead are sitting in the pew, listening to the sound of the piano up ahead and taking in the soft murmur of the other voices in the chapel. Suddenly the music changes, “The Wedding March” is playing and everyone is turning over their shoulders. Within a matter of moments familiar faces are smiling at you, holding a beautiful bouquet of daisies wrapped with yellow ribbon. You smile back politely and anxiously await the music to change yet again. And then you see her, your dear friend from High School. She looks AMAZING; more beautiful than you’ve ever seen her look in her entire life! She begins to walk down the isle and it is then that you see the look, the smile. It’s only for a moment but it brings an instant tear to your eye. It’s that look that only a bride can give to her awaiting groom. The look of excitement, of nervousness, of “Are we really doing this?!” It’s the look of love in its purest form and when I saw it, I melted from the inside out. As Heather took her place alongside her life long love, I smiled and sat down. I wasn’t heartless after all. It just all doesn’t mean anything to me unless it’s someone that I love.

The ceremony was gorgeous. It was untraditional, and heart felt, and just absolutely beautiful. Heather sang, Carrie cried during her reading, and I sat through it all in awe at the love these two still share after 8 years together. As they walked out of the chapel together, hand in hand, I caught a smile from both of them. They were finally Mr. and Mrs. Whitten. It was time to celebrate!

The reception was held at Hawks View Golf Club in Lake Geneva, WI. Tara and I grabbed a table with the rest of my friends and we spent the next few hours chatting over martinis, beer, and yummy buffet food. Soon the music was blaring, and the girls were on the dance floor dancing the night away. The end of the evening came really fast and before I knew it, I was hugging the bride and groom goodbye and we were on our way back to Milwaukee.

I had just watched my two dear friends promise their love to each other. I was ready to head back to work =)

For more pictures from the wedding, Click Here

Heather and Eric's Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

Yes! I am the first of my blogging friends to jump on the documentation of our fabulous weekend in which we partook in the sacred tradition, of seeing our friends off on their last days as single beings. Saturday, was Heather and Erics bachelor/bachelorette party, something many of us (including the couple) have been waiting for 8 years!

I had never been to a joint stag party before and I was curious to find out just how something like that would come together. But take out the clich strippers, take out the cheesy party games, and your left with a group friends just out to have a good time, and celebrate true love. It was a great evening!

We started off with dinner at Houlihans in Lake Geneva. I was a little sad that our entire wasnt able to sit together, but we made it work none-the-less with our two tables. We all sat side by side our couples (minus oneMINE) and chatted amongst ourselves over martinis, beer, and a tequila shot for Eric. Oh, and two BIG ASS Sunset Martinis for Eric and I, and Greta and Wendell. At around 10:00 we were all full and ready to begin the evening. Our first stopChamps.

The couple of honor wanted to go out dancing, but at 10:00 there wasnt going to be too much happening, so Champs seemed the perfect place to get our drink on for a bit, while waiting for the crowd at Hogs and Kisses to arrive. We had a few more drinks, and laughed as Amanda told off a very rude man for staring at my ass. You can always count on her to speak up thats for sure! Greta met a nice fella who proceeded to buy the entire party drinks and after a round of free drinks, we were ready for some dancing at Hogs.

Hogs was packed, as it usually is on a Saturday night, but we had no problems squeezing our way through the people and on to the dance floor. The music was a bit old school and I was disappointed that the DJ didnt know many of the songs we were requesting, but with good company you can dance the night away to pretty much anything. So it all worked out.

Our last stop in our bachelor/bachelorette tour of Lake Geneva was Carvettis and overly packed bar already at capacity by the time we arrived. It took some convincing on our part but we finally convinced the bouncer to let us in, with the stipulation that we went right to the outside patio. He heard no complaints from me. We pushed our way through the crowd of people, and planted ourselves at a table outside. Ahhh, a chance to relax and talk. It was probably a good thing that we never ended up making our way back out to the dance floor because after sitting for a bit and talking, the majority of us realized just how tired we were and so within an hour, we had all gone our respective ways and the fun of the bachelor/bachlorette party was a growing memory.

But the fun is not over, and its truly just beginning. In two weeks we will all reconvene, this time to celebrate the official union of these two high school sweethearts. On May 5th, Heather Cawley and Eric Whitten will become Mr. and Mrs. Whitten and well all be there to witness and celebrate it. I cant wait.

I apologize for the lack of pictures, but Blogger has been giving me nothing but grief all day long. For whatever reason, it won't let me post!!! So, if you want to see the pictures from the evening...

FOR PICTURES OF THE NIGHT, CLICK HERE

Pure Perfection!

*Cheers* to perfect weekends. It was a mixture of old friends, great love, and beautiful spring days…the perfect combination to any perfect weekend.

My weekend began on Saturday with an extremely busy bridal salon. Wedding season is in full bloom and the brides were out and shopping! Adding to the hustle of the salon, were the procrastinating prom girls, out to get a look at the last of the season’s dresses before they disappear for good. 8 hours later the store was finally quiet again, and I was on my way out the door to meet up with a good friend for drinks.

I hadn’t been to Katie D’s house in YEARS, probably since High School, so it was nice to reminisce a bit around the house I called my second home for so many years. I chatted with her dad for a bit, commented on how old her little sister had gotten (seriously last time I saw her she was like 10...now she's 15 and dating!!!!), and then headed out with my bubbly blonde friend for some drinks in good old Lake Geneva.

We started things out at Champs, ended up meeting up with Dave, and then the three of us headed over to Cavarellis (I may be WAY off in that bar name) for a few more drinks and a shot. As the night wore on though, the music intensified and we decided to leave in search of a more chill avenue (this was definitely not a night out for dancing…we had catching up to do!). We ended up back in Burlington, at John’s Main Event, where we met up with my mom and some old High School classmates that we hadn’t seen in many years as well. Katie and Dave played pool, I played darts and chatted, and before I knew it, it was 2:00 and I had to get going. I hugged Katie goodbye in the middle of the street and we planned for our next outing. Dancing next weekend anyone? =)

I drove back to Milwaukee after leaving the bar and curled up next to Tara, thrilled that I had the entire day off on Sunday to just laze around, and spend with her.

We awoke around 9:00, made some coffee, and hung around the apartment for a few hours before finally showering and getting a move on to enjoy the gorgeous spring day that lay ahead of us! I took her to the sporting goods shop on Capital Drive so she could pick out a bat and some softball equipment for the upcoming softball season. For Christmas I had purchased her a gift certificate so she could FINALLY buy a nice bat for herself, and she left satisfied with her brand new DeMarini F2 bat. I know nothing about bats, but it sure is pretty =)

Already in a shopping mood, we decided to head over to Wheel and Sprocket to check out their bike sale, and pick out a pair for us to enjoy this summer (she insists on buying me one for my birthday). We know nothing about biking and were overwhelmed with the choices! Mountain Bikes, Hybrid bikes, racing bikes, tall bikes, short bikes, girl bikes, boy bikes…what happened to the days of pink standard bikes with pom poms on the handles!!

We hung around for an hour and half attempting to figure out, on our own, which bike would fit out needs. We tried unsuccessfully to attract the attention of a sales associate to help us with our questions and we laughed at the “May I help you” options we came up with. I finally just started to ring the little bell attached to one of the bikes I had parked myself on and I think it helped because a few minutes later we finally had a sales associate to answer our questions. 2 hours in Wheel and Sprocket and all we were able to find out is that we need a Hybrid bike, size 18 (for me) and 17.5 (for her). I guess we’re one step closer to buying a bike though! Yay!

The rest of the day we just spent running errands: Target for birthday presents for her neice and nephew, Barnes and Nobles for more birthday presents, and finally Pick ‘n Save for some food so we could grill out. There is no more perfect end to a perfect day than hamburgers and corn on the cobb on the grill! I love Sundays.

A One Year Milestone

It's been since September 6, 1997 that I have celebrated a one year anniversary, however a serial dater I am most definitley not. I've had "long" relationships thrown in there: 6 months, 7 months, 11 months. But for one reason or another, we never made it to the coveted one year mark.

But here I am, November 5th 2005, celebrating my one year anniversary. I arrived at work today to a huge bouquet of red roses and have maintained a perma-smile the entire morning thus far.

As I said it's been a while since I've done the whole one year anniversary thing, so I was a little stumped as to what I was supposed to do for it. Do I buy jewelry, do I spend a lot of money, do we just go out to dinner? Of course my analytical mind contemplated senario after senario and stressed out about the deal for a while actually, but I think I've come up with something adequate. If anything, meaningful =)

Regardless of the gift, after one year I am at my happiest and feel so lucky to have someone so wonderful.

After one year, I still love her more than day one. And it's all because:

When we fight, she doesn't try to demean me. There will never be a "one up" competition between the two of us. I never feel hurt.

She's loud and obnoxious in the morning, and pleasantly chipper.

She loves her niece and nephew more than anything in the world.

She's been through some rough stuff in her life, and never once has she blamed the world for her misfortune. She remains upbeat, and positive. A true emotional role model.

She's way hot when she plays short stop

She's adorably shy

She cowers at the sound of yelling

She thinks Queer as Folk is real life

She stutters when she gets excited

and because she loves me.