Monday, October 29, 2007

Nostalgia with a Tinge of Jealousy

You know what’s a weird feeling? Finding out your high school sweetheart is engaged…to someone else. No matter how moved on I am, and how distant our lives have become, I have to admit that a piece of my heart sank when I heard the news.

It’s weird to think that could have been me. In fact, it was supposed to be me…seven years ago. But things are very different now, and although I know I wasn’t supposed to be that girl, it still hurts a little to think that I’m not.

I do wish them all the happiness in the world though. And although I love my life, and where I am right now, I think I’m going to be a little sad for the rest of the day.

I think that’s okay.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Finally, a Scary Halloween

Last night, I went to the scariest Haunted House of my entire life. I'm not kidding you guys.

Every Halloween, I become anxious with the thought of the seasons most scariest festivities. I often try to find the most scariest haunted house I can find, but usually just end up finding myself walking through yet another cheesy haunted house which provides me more laughs with my friends than anything else. The closest I ever come to be truly scared is when I decide to watch a horror movie by myself at 1:00 in the morning. Sleeping, is pretty scary after that.

But last night in Random Lake, Wisconsin I found myself an hour away from the security of my home and walking through the most terrifying place I have ever encountered. The place was called the Splatter Haus and it was deemed one of the most terrifying haunted houses in Wisconsin - it definitely lived up to it's name.

Dark, narrow passage ways lead to large open rooms that seemed quiet and still, but upon the flicker of a light, and the blare of Rob Zombie through the speakers I found myself cowering in corners as the most terrifying of creatures popped out of coffins, and curtains, and dark passage ways. They chased us with chain saws, and knives, and just plain ridiculously scary costumes. They never touched me, but they came close - very close.

The most terrifying moments:

Walking into a room with panels of what looked to be bandages hanging from the cieling. The panels obscured the view of the room but through the bandages, and the faint red glow an old white door could be seen in front of us. The famous Halloween theme music blared in the speakers around us, and we just knew that Michael Meyers was somewhere in that room with us. We pushed our way through to the door and suddenly the room went dark to which we instantly grabbed hands. Seconds later a strobe light re-lit the room and Michael was standing there, inches from our faces. I screamed and hid my face only to find that when I opened my eyes again, Michael was following us through the tiny dark tunnel. There was no escaping!!!

Minutes later without a moment to catch my breath, we happened upon a room with what appeared to be a small robot in a cage. Thinking I could finally catch my breath I suddenly heard the sound of machine guns blaring in the background and a light went on to reveal a HUGE 10 foot robot/ghost creature pounding it's way towards us, shooting at us with massive machine guns. I pushed our group through, trying to get them through the room faster so that I wouldn't be eaten by the scary robot.

On top of the scary creatures throughout the house, we were forced to crouch and crawl and climb and even slide to get through the house causing not only a visual fright fest, but a mental one as well. We walked through tiny tunnels that had me struggling for breath, and at a few points we found ourselves immersed in an airtight tunnel way that suctioned us from all angels. It was like walking through to large plastic bags. There was nowhere to go but right through, and pray that you could get out somewhere on the other end.

There were times when I thought, I can't take this anymore, I'm so scared and I seriously prayed that around the next corner I would finally see an exit sign. 25 minutes later, as our group found our way to the exit, I let out a sigh of relief. I had made it through the most terrifying half hour of my life.

I'm not kidding you guys, you HAVE to go to this place. I think it's open for a few more days so if you get the chance you MUST get there and let me know what you thought.

I can't WAIT to go back next year!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

For Better or Worse?

The other day, during a friendly get together, one of my friends said out loud to the group: “When you’re our age you SHOULD get married.” She justified it somehow by saying that we want babies and such, and that’s why we should get married, and nobody else seemed to be bothered by her comment, but I’ve found myself sitting here thinking about it over and over for the past few days and each time I do I get a little more bothered by it.

I SHOULD get married? Why?

Last I checked I was perfectly capable of being in a committed loving relationship without needing a piece of paper from the state claiming that we were. And also while I’m at it, I never realized that a marriage is what determined my ability to have a child or not. I’d sure hate to be in the same room when all my committed lesbian friends find that out.

I’m not religious, so I don’t believe that I need the church’s permission to join my life with someone, but it seems as though now I need to justify my relationship with society by walking down the isle and saying “I Do”. Like suddenly because I’ve been with someone for four years and haven’t yet taken that leap that somehow makes our relationship or our future together irrelevant? Can we not start a family and begin a life together without me signing my last name away? I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I’m not against marriage, and I definitely would like to get married some day and start a family and do all that traditional stuff, but I didn’t realize it was something I HAD to do, or that I SHOULD do. Aside from the religious aspects of a marriage, why does one feel as though I SHOULD be married? What does a marriage provide to my relationship besides a binding contract? Isn’t the commitment to each other the most important thing? And unless we’re making a commitment to God in front of the church (which I would never do), isn’t the rest just a tradition, not a necessity?

Do you feel as though young women should get married? If so, why?

Friday, October 19, 2007

Blah Blah Blah

What is wrong with me. I have NOTHING to write about.

I, am not happy. I feel as though I have no emotions. I'm litterally staring at this computer screen with nothing inside my head except pain, from the headache that won't leave.

My job isn't stressful, but the lack of schedule I have in my life is. It's hard to figure out when you're going to grocery shop, and read, and do laundry, and clean the house, and spend time with myself...or my significant other, during the first few weeks of a new job/life change. I know that in a few weeks things will calm down, but until then I just feel so overwhelmed. I NEED order in my life, and I'm just not getting it right now. I've commuted almost my entire adult career so this shouldn't be so tough on me, but it always is at first. It's hard to get a schedule. But I NEED a schedule


I can't wait until I get used to this. Maybe I'll actually have stuff to write about then.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Quick Update

Oh man, I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve updated. Switching jobs is pretty stressful on one’s personal life, especially now that I have a 45 minute commute added to my regular schedule. Getting myself back into some sort of routine has been tough and as a result, I’ve been absent from the online world that I absolutely adore so much! Facebook only exists through the random phone notifications I receive when someone posts something on my wall and as for the blogosphere? Yeah right. I’ve read maybe two of my regular blogs in the past two weeks…let alone post one my own. Needless to say, the transition has been a bit tough.

But the job? I LOVE it. Seriously. Although being the new girl isn’t always the best feeling, it’s nice to know that my current position holds so much potential for growth, and I’ve already learned so much in just the four days I’ve been here. Not to mention, one of my best friends works here so it’s nice to see here more often than every few months. It’s strange being back in Burlington, but I can’t say I can complain about being able to park right outside my office, especially now that the bitter cold Wisconsin winter is on its way!

I still miss Harley, but I’m grateful that everyone there has managed to stay in contact, and keep me updated on the happenings. It makes me feel like I’m still a part of it all somehow.

I’m in the process of getting internet (and cable) installed in my apartment, so I PROMISE as soon as that happens I’ll be around much more. Just hang in there =)

Friday, October 05, 2007

I Can't Help It, I'm An Animal Lover

Okay I realize I just posted like ten minutes ago, but in my morning blog-read session I came across this postcard on the PostSecret website and i couldn't help but share it with all of you. Because in all honesty, I feel the EXACT same way. And I don't need an anomyous posting website to share it with all of you.

Does that make me a bad person?

A Final Goodbye To H-D

Today, I say goodbye to Harley-Davidson. Yesterday, I said goodbye to my boss. And to be perfectly honest, I wanted to cry. In fact, I almost did, and so did he. Then again that's what I do, I cry. A lot. I can't help it.

I found myself incredibly sad yesterday as co-workers stopped by to say their final goodbyes to me and I found myself at the verge of a breakdown when my boss dropped off a custom painted gas tank, signed by everyone in my department. I couldn't believe I was just being handed the honorary gas tank, that each employee receives upon the end of their time at Harley (or in that particular department) as a token of appreciation for their efforts. I was also handed a beautiful leather bag filled with a cute Harley T-shirt and a travel Harley coffee mug for my new morning commute each day. Everyone knew that I would only be satisfied, if I could go out in Harley "style" =)

I'm going to miss this place, so much! The people, the job, the life-long friends I've made, and the amazing contacts I'll always have. I'll miss the smell of motorcycle exhaust as I enter the security turnstile at 8:00 am each morning and I'll never forget the little wave of acknowledgement from the morning security guards. I'll miss sitting in Amanda's cube and hiding out from the world as we gossip and plan the weekend's festivities or the morning overly energetic visits from Craig that always managed to put me in a better mood. I'll miss the convenience of the cafeteria and even all the unnecessary meetings that posed only to eat up more of my time and I'll miss the many nicknames I've accumulated in such a short period of time. I'll miss my unlimited supply of office supplies, the smell of my cubicle, and the noise my high heels made in our hallway that acknowledged to everyone that Christi was coming down the hall.

I hate goodbyes. I really do. I've only been her for ten months but it feels like so much longer. This place has become home to me, in that comfortable "home" sense that only a fantastic job can provide to you. It sort of makes one wonder if money really is all that important anymore, considering how unbelievably happy I am here!

But alas, the reality of the situation is that I have a much better opportunity offered to me somewhere else, and I owe it to myself to at least be open minded about it. I finally have the chance for financial stability, upward mobility, and the ability to grow with a company from start to potentially finish. The good thing about it is, if this doesn't work out, I always have Harley to fall back on.

And with that, I end my final post as an employee of Harley-Davidson Motor Company. It's been an amazing ten months!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Because She's Almost There


My dear blog friend Krista is running a marathon. But not just because she wants to jump up and down at the end of 26.2 miles and say "I ran a marathon, what have you done", although I totally would, and I have. It was awesome. But this isn't about me. She's running for an adorable little girl named Amelia who has leukemia. Amelia can't run, but Krista can! And she is! But to help Amelia, Krista needs donations. And she's running out of time to get them!

Therefore, we're in super-hyper-get donations any way we can-even if it means posting a million blogs about it-mode. So here I am. Trying to help her out, and hoping you want to help as well!

The donations can be as big or as small as you're financially able to provide but every little bit helps. In fact, broken down, Krista has figured that she needs only $14 from 67 people. That's not bad. I know about 10, and I donated so that's 11! Assuming we all put in our $14, that only leaves her with 56 more people.

woot, woot!

Alright, enough begging. Let's get to the point. This is for a good cause. What better reason is there. You can donate here. I truly hope you do.

Thank You.

My New BlackBerry

Man, I'm sorry everyone for being such a Debbie Downer lately in my past few posts. This stupid mind of mine is on overdrive the past few weeks. It probably doesn't help that I have absolutely nothing to do at work since it's my last week so instead, I think. It's what I do.

In more upbeat, materialistic news, I got a new cell phone yesterday! I get really excited about new cell phones. As I do new shoes, purses, and office supplies. And new peanut butter. I love taking the first scoop out of a new jar of peanut butter. It makes me all fuzzy inside.

But back to the cell phone. It's cute.

The End.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Living For Today

"...and suddenly you are just one car away from having your number called"

That was how my boss felt as he described to me over lunch the terrible accident he had witnessed while driving up north this weekend. The accident involved three cars: car 1 contained a woman driver, her husband passenger, and their two children in the back seat; car 2 contained a family as well; car 3 contained a man and his son. Car one apparently hit car 2 head on (at 55 miles an hour) then proceeded to flip, mid-air, landing on top of car 3. Everyone except one person in car 2 was killed. At fault, was the woman driving car 1.

My boss described the horror he felt as he pulled who he could out of crushed vehicles, and worked to keep people conscious. He also admitted the complete defeat he felt as he realized there was nothing he could possibly do for those in car 2. As the silence deafened the scene, he realized the fatality that car had experienced.

"The hardest part about the whole thing was driving away. Because on Monday, my life will go back to normal, but these people's lives are forever changed."

It's so scary and completely humbling at the same time. I think it's hard for many of us to not feel invincible at the beginning of each day. We wake up, carry on our morning routines, and never really think that this very well could be our last day on earth...the last time we'll ever see our beds again or hear that alarm clock. We carry on thinking "It won't happen to least not today"

At the back of my own mind, the thought of death is constantly there: how it's going to happen, will it be painful or quick, what will forever really be like, will I know I'm dead or will a light just suddenly shut off and that's it for me...forever. It scares the sh*t out of me and it makes me ill thinking about it. But even though I think about death on a daily basis, there is still a part of me that doesn't believe it will happen to me. I never truly believe that this could be my last day on earth. I always try to appreciate everything I encounter, each and every single day, but I wonder what I would do differently if I truly believed each and every day would be my last.

Honestly, it sounds incredibly exhausting. I think maybe it's easier for us to remain invincible in our keeps us enjoying the day, instead of dreading it's end.

Do you live each day as though it could be your last? If so, how do you do it?

Monday, October 01, 2007

The Effects of Housesitting

I'm really tired today. In fact, it's been a long time since I've felt this tired while being at work. Probably since my days of drunken all night binges until 6 in the morning, followed by an early 7:00 am shift at work where I would spend the day hunched over the desk, puking in the garbage can. Those days were tiring. And thank god they're over with.

Today, I'm that kind of tired. Only I'm not hung over, or still drunk. I'm just exhausted because last night, I didn't sleep. At all. You see, this week I am house sitting. And as a result I am sleeping in a strange house, with strange animals, in a strange city, in a very strange bed.

I don't sleep well to begin with when I'm not in my own bed, let alone in a strange house that makes strange noises at 11:30 at night causing the puppies to perk their ears and stare intently out the bedroom door. I also can't sleep without the soothing hum of a fan. The dead silence of a room is too much for me to handle while I'm sleeping. The thoughts in my mind are entirely too loud...they keep me up! But this fan. Not a single one in sight. Great. Lucky for me attached to their bedroom is a bathroom and inside said bathroom...a ventilation fan. Score! So I turned that on, and crawled back into bed. But it still wasn't loud enough, and I felt bad having it run for 8 hours straight because quite honestly, I don't think that's what they're made for. So I turned it off, and tried to go back to sleep, but I just kept hearing the weird noises, and the strange neighbors, and the puppies snoring, and then I couldn't get comfortable and I was tossing and turning, and then I had to pee......

It was a nightmare. Actually I wish it were, because that would mean I was actually sleeping...instead of staring at the ceiling.

Hopefully tonight will be better. I don't think I can handle a full week of no sleep.

I'm a Lemming

I was tagged by my oldest friend Mentle on her blog, The Everyday. Here is the game:


1. Post these rules before you give the facts.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) someone and list their name (linking to their page).
4. Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged!


1.) I don't believe in ghosts (in the Hollywood sense), nor do I believe in the after life but somehow I am convinced that I was contacted by my dead grandmother, on the one year anniversary of her death. I was living in London, and she left me a message on my voicemail. I'm not kidding.

2.) My dream is to set foot on every single continent.

3.) I miss school and learning. I'm hoping to go back for my Masters someday soon.

4.) I really want to make it a more permanent goal for myself to start hand writing letters to people. I utilize electronic communication entirely too much to stay in contact with those around me. I feel the need to get more personal.

5.) Finding 8 things to tell about myself is really hard, considering I regurgitated 100 of them for my "100 Things About Me" post.

6.) I wish skinny pants and leggings would go out of style again. I think they're just hideous and refuse to wear them.

7.) I loathe morning radio. I cannot find a single solitary morning show on my FM dial that stimulates me in any way, shape, or form. I am officially switching to AM. And that makes me feel old. But I still want Ally Faith to be my best friend.

8.) Socks make me feel claustrophobic.

Hmmm, I'll tag......OC. You're it!