A Candid Moment

HAPPY 2008 (8 days too late)!!!!

I always get really excited for the coming of January 1^st. There is just something so magical about “NEW” that gives us hope that we truly can start all over again. As January 1^st rings in a new year, so does it also ring in the chance for a new beginning, and I can tell you this year more than any other year before…I need a new beginning.

I hurt people last year; people that have meant more to me than I ever thought possible. I lied to people that mattered in order to carry through with my own selfish intentions. I do realize that's a pretty bold statement to put out to a web full of strangers. But I can’t always put on a happy face, and I can’t pretend to be a perfect human being. I’m flawed. And until I can accept that, I’ll never fully be true to myself. Consider my candid statement, my acceptance.

I’ll forever regret how I treated people in 2007…I’ll forever hate who I was in 2007. If I could do it all over again I’d do many things different, but unfortunately that’s not possible and so I can only hope that my mistakes will carry me forward, and I’ll learn from them.

I can take this new moment, this new day, this New Year and fix me…make me a better person. I can look back at my mistakes and work strongly to not make them again. I can make resolutions and for once make them happen. I can make 2008 a much better year than 2007 and for that I am grateful for the New Year and a new opportunity.

And so, for the first time in many years, I have actually compiled a list of resolutions that I have put onto a piece of paper, and will carry with me every day so that I never lose focus of what I am going to accomplish. That list is as follows:

Write in my blog more often

Spend wisely

SAVE

Utilize my gym membership at least three times a week

Get back into yoga

Eat more fresh foods

Be less selfish

Be more assertive

Enjoy my life now! Don’t dwell on the past, and quit worrying about the future.

Seize opportunities

Take more chances

Do more things that scare the hell out of me

Be honest

Be done with self pity

Accept weaknesses, but build on strengths

Let more people in

I’m sure it’ll be a running list, and I’m sure I’ll fail miserably at some of them, but I hope that in 357 days, I’ll look back at the year and think: “I did good this year”. Here’s hoping for a better 2008.

I'm a Lemming

I was tagged by my oldest friend Mentle on her blog, The Everyday. Here is the game:

THE RULES:

1. Post these rules before you give the facts.
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) someone and list their name (linking to their page).
4. Leave them a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged!

HERE GOES

1.) I don't believe in ghosts (in the Hollywood sense), nor do I believe in the after life but somehow I am convinced that I was contacted by my dead grandmother, on the one year anniversary of her death. I was living in London, and she left me a message on my voicemail. I'm not kidding.

2.) My dream is to set foot on every single continent.

3.) I miss school and learning. I'm hoping to go back for my Masters someday soon.

4.) I really want to make it a more permanent goal for myself to start hand writing letters to people. I utilize electronic communication entirely too much to stay in contact with those around me. I feel the need to get more personal.

5.) Finding 8 things to tell about myself is really hard, considering I regurgitated 100 of them for my "100 Things About Me" post.

6.) I wish skinny pants and leggings would go out of style again. I think they're just hideous and refuse to wear them.

7.) I loathe morning radio. I cannot find a single solitary morning show on my FM dial that stimulates me in any way, shape, or form. I am officially switching to AM. And that makes me feel old. But I still want Ally Faith to be my best friend.

8.) Socks make me feel claustrophobic.

Hmmm, I'll tag......OC. You're it!

Looking Back on Summer 2007

Today in Wisconsin, it officially feels like fall. The air is cool and crisp, with hints of amber colored leaves blowing and moving below my feet. I stepped outside as the dawning sun hung lower than it has the previous few months, and I held my jacket closer to my body as I ran to my car to begin my morning commute. It was chilly, but a good chilly. The kind that makes you anticipate the coming months of crunching leaves, deep browns and oranges, and pumpkins sitting proudly at the doorsteps of neighborhood houses. I love autumn. Everything about it really. That is, everything except the fact that Winter is just around the corner.

I hate Winter.

Through my love for Autumn, I also hold a small place of remorse for the passing of Summer. That time of year when the sun shines brighter, the children laugh louder, and the idea of a front porch and a vodka lemonade never sounded sweeter. With the coming of Autumn, comes the end of Summer, and although I look forward to the coming months, I can't help but reminisce about what the last four have brought to me, and be thankful for all that I have been given so far this year.

Thank you Summer 2007, for giving me:

The chance to finally meet Tara's mom...too many years later
The Girls Next Door on DVD
My very first fishing license, followed by my very first fishing experience
My Barbie fishing bobber
The "On Your Honor Box"
An introduction to the amazing music of Jon Hainstock
A cure for my fear of flying
...lots of wine
The mountains of Utah
The ability to save
and a $300 a month savings on my loan payment
The Grand Ol Opry
A new lifelong friend
Golf
My new apartment
A sitemeter and google ads for my blog
The knowledge that thunder doesn't come from clouds crashing together
A 14 hour motorcycle ride through South Dakota
Runs by the lake
Walks by the lake
Get togethers with old, dear friends

Post Number 3

It has been EXTREMELY slow here at the store today. Of course I haven't found that ability to be constructive with my time so I have spent the majority of my time here at work, browsing around the blogging world that exists on the internet today. Has anybody ever taken a few moments to really look at what's out there? There are some FANTASTIC blogs!!!

About a month ago, Erin introduced me to this site: http://www.micheleagnew.com/. It's like a big blogging cult. For any avid bloggers out there that have yet to visit Michele, you are missing out on a world of interesting and sometimes fascinating writing!! I highly recommend going there, introducing yourself, and letting the blogging world in!

I'll admit I'm not a HUGE Michele follower. After all, I'm a bit intimidated by the fine literary posters that frequent her site, and as I've been reminded of time and time again, I suck at writing...or at least spelling for that matter, so I would never embarrass myself by trying to keep up to par with these people. But I find myself there from time to time, usually when it's slow here at work, browsing through blogs and leaving my trail of comments. Throughout my travels today I discovered some GREAT blogs!!!

The first one I came across is The Alchera Project, which I became a member of instantly! It offers monthly writing assignments to get your creative juices flowing!

Via The Alchera Project I then stumbled onto The Daily Meme. Daily questions and quizzes...what could be better!!! This is my kind of site!

There are so many creative blogs out there I couldn't believe it! I was thrilled to have stumbled upon so many that I know I'll definitley utilize in the days/months/years to come. Sometimes I get bored and I really just want to write, but when your life is uneventful, what are you to blog about? These sites offer hundreds of inspirational ideas and they are just a copy and a paste away!

So, to pass even more unconstrutive time, here are a few questions courtesy of Belicove.com

Q: What are four (4) of your favorite words?
Poop
Sippy Cup
Plethora
Estacionamiento (spanish for parking lot...it's just fun to say)

Q: What are four (4) things you hope to do this weekend?
Carve pumpkins
Go to Market..so excited!
See Katie f'n Daniel
Go out dancing (this is just something I always want to do though)

Q: What are four (4) things you wish you could do right now?
Go home
Go out dancing
Receive notice about this flippin' Visual Merchandising position
Sell a wedding dress

Q: What are four (4) things that turn you on?
Really good conversation
Cologne/Purfume
Laughing
Dancing

Q: What are four (4) things you know you can't do?
Rattle my tongue
Say the word Vagina
Spell
Beat Tara at darts

Q: What are your four (4) favorite things to do?
Dance (has anyone caught on to this yet)
Watch movies
Plan "things"..parties, shows, etc.
Long talks over red wine

Okay, I think I'm going to be productive now. The store could use a good cleaning! =)

Beautiful Things

Courtesy of The Alchera Project

Beautiful Sounds:

Wind blowing through the trees
Ocean waves
Traffic outside my window
Tara singing in the shower

Beautiful Smells:

Fresh flowers
Plastic innertubes
Morning breakfast cooking
Lavender/Vanilla fragrances
Autumn

Beautiful Places I Have Visited:

Turtle Island in the Carribean
Hampstead Heath, England
Oahu, Hawaii
Notre Dame Cathedral, Paris
My mom's bridal salon

Beautiful personalities:

My dad: strong, dedicated, selfless
Erin: positive, brash, obnoxious
Tara: sensitive, shy, funny
My mom: independant, self-sufficient, caring
Gary: hard working, generous, flamboyant

Beautiful Moments:

Finishing the Chicago Marathon
Falling together
My first kiss
The first crisp, sunny, autumn day
A park bench, the Milwaukee night sky, and the feeling of being secure

Saturday Smiles

1.) Feeling sexy in the morning because of the way she looked at me
2.) The smell of fall
3.) A clear blue sky, and a gorgeous drive to Burlington
4.) Watching a husband and wife taking a morning walk with their two Golden Retrievers
5.) A morning chat with Monkey
6.) A good hair day
7.) Being able to make a certain bride's day by having THE dress here for her, and seeing the tears accompany that excitement.
8.) The anticipation of Great America tomorrow...yay!
9.) The smell of the flower shop next door
10.) Fruit and Creme Starbursts in my belly...mmmm.
11.) Bobby Darin on the CD player
12.) An email from Heather, and invitation to a chill night with two great people.
13.) Watching people outside stop and stare at our store windows, and the new fall display I created.
14.) Hearing "You're so nice! We don't want to go anywhere else!"
15.) Faxing Tara's new job acceptance..CONGRATULATIONS T-BEAR!!! ha ha

Yes, it's a gorgeous Saturday and by 12:00 I've already had a very happy morning. I wish I didn't have to spend it at work, but oh well.

I hope you all have a fantastic day!!

HAPPY OCTOBER!!! MY FAVORITE MONTH!!!

An idea from Kross-Eyed Kitty

As I sit here at work on this fine Friday morning, I decided to participate in the weekend meet and greet that Michele puts on, and decided to surf through cyberspace in persuit of a few blogs to entertain me for a while. In the midst of my travels I came across Kross-Eyed Kitty's blog and a post that sparked interest. It was in regards to bookmarks of life, and how often times there are songs throughout our life that act as said bookmark, causing us to reminise and go back to that time and re-live it. Then after a text this morning from an ex reminding me of the song we broke up to, I realized this concept does in fact exist, and I began making a mental recolection of my own music lifemarks.

1.) High Enough - Damn Yankees: Jessica Berry (My long lost, now deceseased best friend as a child) were driving in the back of my parents car singing along to the song on the radio. I remember thinking "Why can't she just sing like I do, she doesn't even SOUND like them". Apparently I thought mightly highly of myself in those days. But that is my last running memory of Jessie being alive.

2.) Piece of Shit Car - Adam Sandler: It was playing in Dave's Dodge Neon the very first time I ever rode in his car. He picked me up while I was grounded the summer before my Freshman year of High School and took me out to Dairy Queen. Our first "Unofficial" date =) It took us about two months to actually kiss and become boyfriend/girlfriend.

3.) Crossroads - Bone Thugs 'n Harmony: The first song Dave and I ever danced to.

4.) Dreams - The Cranberries: While in High School my three best friends and I (Katie Schiller, Kiersten Karlsen, and Katie Daniel) would drive into Milwaukee blaring Dreams in my Explorer and singing at the top of our lungs.

4.) Complicated - Carolyn Dawn Johnson: We were driving in YoYo's Saturn home from The West in Green Bay. The song came on the radio and she looked at me and smiled. It was the moment I realized my life was about to change and my feelings for YoYo were more than just friendly.

5.) I Want To Come Over - Melissa Ethridge: Again driving, a few months later, with YoYo's roomate who played this song for me. We ended up dating a few days later.

6.) In the Club - 50 Cent: Dancing my heart at "Rain" in Las Vegas during my 21st birthday with Erin.

7.) In Public - Kelis: Acted as background music for a British commercial while I was in London. My flatmates and I spent those two months trying to figure out who sang the song and about a week before we left we found it and spent the next week playing it over and over in Addie's computer, dancing around the flat.

What songs act as bookmarks for your own life?

The 75 Best things about my Summer 2005

1.) I graduated college!
2.) It only took 5 years!
3.) Getting to see Rascal Flatts
4.) The B.A.N.A.N.A.S song by Gwen Stefani
5.) Chicago Pride!
6.) Char strutting the streets of Chicago in just her underwear
7.) The fried Mozzerella at some dive bar
8.) Saz's cheese sticks
9.) Fourth of July bottle rocket fight
10.) Exchanging outfits with my 15 year old cousin
11.) ...and then discussing tampons.
12.) Giving advice to 15 year old girls about drinking.
13.) Tara being denied by THREE straight girls.
14.) Heather kissing all three of the above mentioned.
15.) Don't Cha
16.) The grand opening of Christy's Bridal and Formal Wear
17.) Starry night talks on the porch with my parents
18.) Until 3 in the morning
19.) ...and getting really drunk.
20.) Paddling on the little pond in Milwaukee with Erin.
21.) Moving to Milwaukee
22.) Growing up and taking on "grown up" responsiblities
23.) Medical Insurance
24.) Renters Insurance
25.) NEW JOB!!! =)
26.) Holding Rosemary's baby boy
27.) A 15 minute drive to Tara's house
28.) 5 lesbians in a swimming pool
29.) Belly flops into said pool
30.) The return of the Beer Bong
31.) Watching the worst storm of the summer from atop the highest point in Burlington.
32.) Dancing my heart out to the Toys and the Sweetarts with Erin at the Wisconsin State Fair.
33.) Seeing my best friend in a wedding dress
34.) Being named Maid of Honor
35.) The feeling of a very first vendor sale
36.) Seeing Tartuffe at The American Players Theatre
37.) Playing Euchre for HOURS
38.) Rosy's Drunk Night Out
39.) Tara's dancing machine brother
40.) Having a beer with my brother at the local bar
41.) SHUFFLEBOARD at Champion's
42.) The camaradari of the world in regards to the hurricane relief efforts
43.) BEER PONG
44.) Getting rid of Live Journal
45.) Entering into Blogger!
46.) A make-out session with Karen's car and a truck
47.) Tara attacking Angie
48.) A very drunk political conversation
49.) My big beautiful front porch
50.) "The roof is caving in"
51.) An outside concert event
52.) ...and finally being able to spend some quality time with Monkey
53.) Noah's Ark
54.) Jennifer Karnitz's cheap ass
55.) An entire campsite of screaming girls
56.) ...we're scared of racoons.
57.) Corn on the Cob on the grill
58.) Endless softball tournaments
59.) Jumping on the bleachers, arm and arm with my parents, during the Sugar Ray concert.
60.) ...and seeing Mark McGrath up close.
61.) New roomate
62.) new DRUNK roomate ;)
63.) Getting my Chicago rent deposit check in the mail
64.) Then going on a mad shopping spree
65.) Buckle's new Blue2 Denim line
66.) Big honkin' necklaces.
67.) ...it's about time!
68.) Record high temperatures
69.) ..seriously I love them
70.) 21st row for the Kenney Chesney concert
71.) Seeing Tara's face when he came on stage
72.) Ryan Longwell hitting the lady next to us with his golf ball
73.) ...then being able to see him close up
74.) he's VERY cute
75.) and finally being close to my friends and family.