Monday, March 31, 2008
My Clock, Has Finally Started Ticking
Ever since I can remember I always said "I want three kids". I would have two boys, one girl and we'd all live happily ever after. Following that I've always said: "...but not right now", and as I've gotten older, I've pushed that idea off further and further into the future. I, unlike my friends, have not had the ticking baby time bomb ready to explode in my belly...
...until last night.
Last night I had a dream. A beautiful dream that I was walking the streets of some unknown city, with a tiny little blue eyed baby girl walking happily next to me. As we reached the corner, ready to the cross the street I looked down at her and smiled, telling her to grab my hand. She looked up at me with baby blue eyes, grabbed my pinky finger, and together we skipped across the street.
And then she turned into a dog. I'm not kidding.
But until then she was MINE. My little baby girl that I have been wanting since my dolly days and for the first time in almost 26 years I woke up WISHING I had one of my very own. For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I'm getting my maternal clock and thank GOD because I was beginning to think mine was broken! I couldn't stop thinking about the dream all day and I even began contemplating what her name would end up being!
The unfortunate part about it all is that I'm nowhere near a point in my life where I'm ready, or able to have a baby, but it makes me even more excited for all of my friend's to start having THEIR babies and beginning THEIR families so that I can go play with theirs all I want. Hopefully someday I'll have my little blue eyed blond baby girl (or some version there of). Until then I'm enjoying the freedom of not having her around.